Today, Leaving is not really Leaving

When a child leaves for college today, it may not feel like they’ve really left. With calls and text messaging on cell phones, email on computers, it is possible to stay in very close touch with each other. I am not sure this is a good thing. They need to know we are not going to see or hear about every misstep or accomplishment. They will learn how to correct and praise themselves. But most importantly, being on their own will teach them to Whom they should turn to for their own needs. Separation is a good thing for flying solo.

The summer days before each of our children have left for college looked pretty much the same. Their days consisted of: getting up (sometimes late), going to work, coming home to bathe and change clothes, leaving for the evening, returning home sometime after I had gone to bed, sleeping a few hours, then starting over the next day. They were basically on their own already. But while they were living at home, we asked them to let us know what they are doing, where they were going, and with whom they would be with that day. But when they leave for college, I gently break off all unnecessary communication. They need to know that this is different now.

When I left for college, it felt like I had left for good. I was out of touch with my parents. I could not pick up a phone, a cell, or computer, and call home instantly. It could be hard. It was hard on me. It was harder on my mom. Don’t misunderstand me I really wanted to leave home and go to college. Not that I didn’t like being at home, I was just ready to fly on my own. At least, I thought I was. But I never really knew how I would do until I was on my own completely.

Today, it is no wonder that children return home to live after college. They don’t know how to fly solo.