Birthdays are Special to the Birth Parents

I guess it never occurred to me before yesterday that birthdays are special not only to the one who was born, but to the parents who facilitated the birth. So much emphasis, by everyone in our society, is given to the one who was born, by throwing parties, giving gifts and overall making it a special day for them, that the real heroes of that special birthday have been lost. The birth parents are really the ones that had a remarkable day that is worth celebrating. The birth changed their lives forever. Maybe that is worth celebrating more than just being born.

Parents today have a choice if they want their children born. They could decide they don't want the interruption, can't afford a child, or don't want to rearrange their lives for the next twenty years to facilitate the raising. If something is worth celebrating it is the commitment and sacrifice on the part of the parents, especially the mother, to provide everything that is necessary to the newborn, to put them in an environment in which they are raised to become a functioning adult. And the day it started is worth at the very least a mention.

The child who was born, should more than anyone else, recognize how special birthdays are to the parents and make sure others know what was really done special on that day. I am not advocating that we should abandon our practice of making it a special day for the one who was born. I am promoting the idea that some recognition should go to the parents. It is a birthday for them too.

This is not a message to our kids specifically. They acknowledge and honor us for our part in their birth and for that I are grateful. This is a message to us all. Birthdays should be more than a selfish celebration for the one who received life and more of a grateful honor to the ones who provided life.

Thank you mom and dad for all that you did for me.

Twenty Three Years ago today

This is a copy of the email I just sent our twin sons about this day, twenty-three years ago.

"J & J,

Twenty-three years ago today, I hesitantly left for work, thinking your mother was having contractions. She assured me they were not the real thing and were very erratic anyway. Your grandmother came over to stay with your mom while I was gone. While at work, I got a 'voice page' right about now, 1:00pm to call home. I called and my mom told me your mother was having contractions every ten minutes and that I should come home. I left work early and I could not wait to get home. I was so excited about how our lives were about to change.

About 4pm I was walking your mother into Trinity Medical Center in Carrollton stopping every few minutes for her to endure a contraction. We got settled in, and the hospital staff hooked everything up to your mother, to monitor her and the two of you. When it became apparent that Jason was in trouble they decided to move everything up and get you guys out as fast as possible. C-Section. They would not allow me to enter the surgical room because there was no way for me to scrub in so fast. But I stood outside the door listening. Literally with my ear to the crack of the double doors, I stood waiting to hear anything, something that I could to identify that my sons had entered the world. Only about 10 minutes passed when I heard a baby cry. Followed a minute later with another, different cry. Those were the only signs I had that I was a dad.

About 15 minutes passed and a nurse came out with two baby boys encased in incubators on the way to the nursery. She stopped to let me look. I can not tell you how much emotion was in that one brief moment. It was like time stood still.

I was staggered with how beautiful you both looked. While I am not an expert on beauty I thought you guys were the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on. I could not wait to see how your lives would turn out.

Fast forward to today. You both are still beautiful.
Sharing so much in common at the start, you still share the most admired qualities of any man: Intelligent, strong, confident, trustworthy, hard working, fun, dependable. You both have turned out to be great men. I can't wait to see what the next few years hold for you both, as you graduate, get married, develop a career, and maybe have boys of your own.

Happy Birthday guys!